Strange but True – Part Ten

– CHAPTER TEN –

“Hannah, that may all be true, but we’ve been working with George Lane for two decades. You do realize that; don’t you?” Andrew asked me, his hands forming a temple in the air.

“Oh course, I know that,” I snapped back, uncertain whether he had a larger point. “I worked there for a year. I’ve read all of George’s books. I know the history very well.”

“Good,” Andrew declared as though we’d reached a truce. He stood up, while simultaneously putting on his suit jacket. “Then […]

Strange but True – Part Nine

– CHAPTER NINE –

“You know your roommate is a fucking asshole; right?” Lucille asked me with punishing disgust as we squeezed our way into Dallas BBQ en route to the crowded bar.

I said nothing. I was too focused on scanning those who were seated, hoping someone would miraculously stand up from one of the two-dozen stools to ask why she was so angry.

“Oh he’s a fucking asshole,” she confirmed, tensing her brow. “Yuh lucky I didn’t leave. If you showed up five minutes later, you’d a found […]

Strange But True – Part Eight

– CHAPTER EIGHT –

“Wasssup, Hah-Nuh?” I heard Lucille ask, when I returned to my desk and checked my office voice mail. Darting my eyes back and forth, praying no one was eavesdropping, I continued to listen to her signature mix of playful hip-hop lingo, wrapped up in a deliberately mocking New Jersey accent.

“Me and my hayn-sum are coming into the city tonight. He’s go-win to a Ranger game with his brother,” she explained as I cupped the phone over my ear, trying to prevent any sound from escaping […]

20 Questions with Kathy Wakile

(October 17, 2012) – A two-season veteran of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, Kathy Wakile is the least controversial personality on Bravo’s wildly popular Reality TV show that focuses on the lives of five women who live in and near Franklin Lakes, NJ.

The first cousin of co-star Teresa Giudice and cousin-in-law to Melissa Gorga, Kathy regularly appears on camera with her husband Richie, daughter Victoria, son Joseph, and sister Rosie. She also has three brothers who have never been featured on the show, though her mother did make […]

Do Housewives Behave in Their Best Interest?

(October 17, 2012) – A very old woman I know told me something maybe five years ago, when we were celebrating her 90th birthday.  She said that people always do what they believe is in their own best interest at the time they do it.

She said it doesn’t mean it is good for them, but that at that moment, they believed it was their best option. I am not sure if this is always true, but I truly believe the cast of the Real Housewives of New Jersey are […]

Strange But True – Part Seven

– CHAPTER SEVEN –

“I don’t know,” Andrew responded with more than a little annoyance. “I don’t have time to deal with this right now, Hannah.”

“Okay, fine. I’m only asking because the agency called and they were wondering if we’d made a decision yet,” I snapped.

“Hannah, I have a philosophy about things like this,” he explained, rolling the lint brush over his shoulders, meticulously removing nonexistent hairs and threads from his suit jacket.

“I put everything in one of two piles: things that make me money and things […]

Strange but True – Part Six

– CHAPTER SIX –

“Half a day?” Andrew asked with a raise of an eyebrow when he happened to stroll passed me on Park Avenue as I was trying to hail a taxi to meet with Helen.

Before I could answer, he assured me I’d never find an available cab so early in Midtown’s endless rush hour.

“We’re still in the change over,” he told me. “The night drivers aren’t back from Queens yet. That’s where their garages are. If you really want to catch one, your only hope is […]

Strange But True – Part Five

– CHAPTER FIVE –

“Good morning, I mean good afternoon, Washington Controls,” a woman’s voice announced on the other line.

“Hi my name is Hannah. I was hoping to talk to someone about getting a job there,” I explained in a hushed voice, hoping no one would hear me.

“This is a small business. We don’t have employees,” the woman barked back. “Thank you for calling.”

“Oh, uh,” I stumbled. “I work at the Equinox and read one of your reports,” I countered

“I love the Equinox!” the voice changed […]

Strange But True – Part Four

– CHAPTER FOUR –

Before my former colleagues arrived to show us the ads for the Equinox’s newest campaign, Andrew and I met in the dining room. By now my crush on him was becoming ridiculous. It’d gotten so crazy that I started a diary to document every embarrassing thought I had about him and I worried that if I suddenly died, my family would find the lonely handwritten words of a 20-something teenager, bemoaning the symptoms of puppy love. I’d die if they did.

“I can’t believe it, I […]

Done with Fish…

(October 9, 2012) – I always knew this day would come, the day when I’d wake up and have no interest in thinking about, let alone writing about, Housewives. I always figured it would happen inexplicably without warning or provocation.

I’ve said this here before, but at the risk of repeating myself again, I will mention a scene in the movie Adaptation that has always struck me as very true of me.

One of the two main characters, the Orchid Thief, is trying to explain to Meryl Streep’s character why […]