(September 17, 2011) – If Bravo weren’t in a tailspin after Russell Armstrong’s suicide, the normally clever suits over there at 30 Rock would see that delaying the announcement of who will be in the cast of the Real Housewives of New York‘s season 5 is only serving to create a fertile ground for negative news stories to grow, in the absence of positive pieces that help the cable network control its own message and retain its audience.
But until Bravo gets in front of the stories by telling fans who is invited back, news editors producers and bloggers will continue writing articles and filming interviews that do not help the network return to its once golden place on the television dial: a happy refuge for those who love the luxe life of upscale food, haute couture and prime time real estate. Until then, Bravo fans will be left thinking about things like:
Jill is Spinning
Looking stressed now that it has been widely reported that she will not be invited back to the season 5 of the Real Housewives of New York, Jill Zarin appeared on CNN’s Showbiz Tonight in an effort to suggest that she she has not been fired.
“There is no such thing as a pink slip when it comes to TV,” Zarin said nervously in a rapid fire explanation of why her future with the network is in limbo, unlike her colleagues Sonja Morgan, LuAnn de Lesseps and Ramona Singer, who have reportedly been given the green light to join the cast.
“It’s really more of they ask you if you are interested in coming back. And it’s a negotiation. And if the money’s right. And the timing and the terms and everything. So, everybody has a different deal. Everybody came on at a different season. Everyone has a different situation. So I think Bravo is speaking to all housewives. I think that they’re also speaking to potential new housewives. And they need to figure out who is going to work with who.”
Since season 3 when Zarin fell out of favor with viewers, there has been a growing groundswell of detractors who have united in disgust for the social climbing, bullying housewife. In fact, over the last 18 months, a cottage industry of blogs and Twitter parody accounts have sprung up as a populist revolt against the once-loved Reality TV star.
Rather than tone down her aggressive, Survivor-like approach to what is supposed to be soap opera-like docudrama, Zarin further enraged fans when she split the cast during its forth season with an absurd, yet toxic brunettes vs. the blonds subplot. And viewers seem to be giving Andy Cohen and the entire Bravo team an ultimatum: either axe Jill Zarin or we’ll stop tuning in.
Cops Don’t Stop Believing
Now that she’s succeeded in getting lots of attention for leaving her husband to go on tour with Neal Schon, the lead singer of Journey, former Real Housewives of DC‘s Michaele Salahi has received the dubious honor of an endorsement offer from MarriedWives Club.com, a website dedicated to helping married and separated women find hook ups and afternoon delights.
As you undoubtedly know, earlier this week, there were reports that Michaele was missing and possibly kidnapped. Her husband Tareq even enlisted the FBI in the case when the Warren County sheriff’s department refused to look for Michaele because she told them she had voluntarily left the couple’s home.
It’s anyone’s guess whether any of this is true. There is something about this couple that reminds us of Spencer and Heidi, the attention-hungry Reality TV stars who have reported their weddings and divorces so many times that no one has any idea if they’re married today.
Still if this is a hoax, the famed White House Party Crashers have gone to great lengths to make the story appear legit. Earlier this week TMZ reported that Tareq has been banned from all Journey concerts and even posted the “Most Wanted” style memo to the tour’s security team with Tareq’s photo and a warning that he must not be allowed to enter the group’s concerts, even though he holds one of the band’s laminated all-access backstage passes.
One group that hasn’t stopped believing Tareq’s story is law enforcement. Warren County Sheriff Daniel T. McEathron told the AP, “We believe the Mr. Salahi did not know where his wife was. We know that she was not home, and we know that she was where she wanted to be. As of right now we don’t think it’s any different than the way it came in.”
Talk about Weird and Inappropriate
With rumors swirling that she will not be invited back for Season 5 of the Real Housewives of New York, Kelly Killoren Bensimon spent the final day of New York’s fashion week hosting Cowgirl Riders Debutante, a sexed up children’s fashion show, starring Eden Wood of Toddlers & Tiaras fame, who performed time-honored children’s classics, like Phineas And Ferb’s Squirrels in My Pants and MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This.
The New York Post reports that “Bensimon egged on each of the pint-sized performers and even got up on-stage and danced along when one shy girl froze up as she appeared on the catwalk in a cowboy hat, gingham shirt and denim skirt. ‘How about some moving?’ the former reality star said. ‘Like a rock girl.” (Isn’t it interesting that the paper used the word “former” so confidently?)
Clumsily addressing the negative press that the show inspired, Bensimon took to Twitter to refute the Post‘s take on the creepy controversy: “dn’t h8 the player, h8 the game” as if she can justify her involvement with a creepy show by agreeing that the concept of six year olds in belly shirts is inappropriate but that she herself should be absolved of all criticism because she was merely the ringmaster.