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What’s Cooking with Lisa Vanderpump?

Peaches | October 25, 2011 | 12 Comments More

Pinky gets cross with her pupil

(October 25, 2011) – 
Like the S&M version of Mary Poppins, Lisa Vanderpump strutted onto the stage of last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills to whip Adrienne Maloof into shape with a cooking lesson. And as we watched the Bravo version of Iron Chef, we saw Adrienne fretting to give Chef Dominitrix everything she requests – salt, pepper, herbs! – but nothing is quite good enough for the unforgiving mistress of gastronomy, who criticized Adrienne’s every move.

“I hope she knows her way around the bedroom better than she does around the kitchen – for Paul’s sake,” Lisa told us, dismissing Adrienne’s culinary prowess, while calling into attention her bedroom skills because “there, categorically, is no hope for Adrienne Maloof in the kitchen.”

But thank you Jesus, Adrienne has a spy lurking in the shadows. There in the mist, we can see Chef Bernie who has, thus far, seemed overly invested in the Reality TV drama with his four-star beef directed, with a steely glaze at, Lisa. But now, after last night’s episode, we can finally understand why he loathes Lisa so: she’s a cranky dame who likes to make cooking look like a task that was designed by sadists to make their subordinates look and feel foolish.

Clearly Lisa should not expect to be launched into the food stratosphere as the next Giada de Laurentiis. Ms. Vanderpump is just not forgiving enough for the Food Network. The sad thing is that as we watched this disapproving school marm-naughty pupil scenario, we suddenly realized that a visit to Villa Blanca seems less appealing than it once did, back when we were charmed by Pinky, her obedient husband, and her clothes-horse of a lap dog.

We just wonder how Melissa Gorga would take Lisa Vanderpump’s opinions of Adrienne. If she is no good in the kitchen and her skills in the bedroom are called into question, is an adult woman merely reduced to judgment about how ladylike she behaves in the parlor?

If she is, Kim and Kyle Richards have lots of explaining to do for how they behaved during their parlor mind games at Dana Wilkey’s house, especially because last night they seemed to require that Brandi Glanville apologize for being a victim of their hateful antics during Game Night, when they viciously attacked her. But we’ll get to that in another post, when we are feeling more ladylike ourselves.

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Category: Adrienne Maloof, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

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  • Sumodo

    Please correct typo of “Lisa Maloof!”

    • Anonymous

      Thank you. :D

  • C. Renard

    Up unitl this last episode I was willing tou00a0excuse some ofu00a0Kim’s mean spirited behavior.u00a0 It appeared Kim was so obviously impaired and I thought that no one could take her seriously enough to be hurt by what she said. u00a0But after this episode my opinion of Kim has changed.u00a0 She was so cold and dismissive of Brandi as au00a0person.u00a0 Kim refused to apologize or even acknowledge she did anything wrong.u00a0u00a0 Many people who get into a fight when they are that loaded have the ability tou00a0say they are sorry, because they know at some level they had some role in the fight. u00a0But not Kim and this is a true mearsue of who Kim is, at least of who this substance impaired Kim is.u00a0u00a0u00a0 All I can say is that maybe Kim will get in touch with a better part of herself with the help of treatment for alcoholism.u00a0 Kim has gone from a cross between a grown disney star and Ottis the town drunk from Andy of Mayberry~ to justu00a0a sad, meanu00a0woman, with a sister whou00a0build herself up by tearing Kim down. Wow !u00a0 What happen in that house to make those two act this way?nnnu00a0takes . u00a0

  • ohreallyfactor

    you know. i liked this blog when i found it a few weeks ago and i’m already leaving.u00a0 first of all, you’re just mean spirited here. snark is one thing, but just being nasty is kind of gross. second, i can’t understand why you’ve climbed into dana wilkey’s rear end and stayed there. so she’s new, so she’s ‘normal’, big whoop. don’t forget you’re dealing with a woman willing to put her entire life up for scrutiny by joining the cast.u00a0 same goes for brandi. so kyle is kind of mean. big whoop. brandi? is kind of a see you next tuesday as well. i watched kyle give a sort of apology to brandi, and saw brandi refuse to apologize to kim for the comments about drug use and in fact she LEFT instead of being the bigger person. kyle is mean, kim is mean, adrienne is mean, lisa is mean, camille is slightly less mean this year, dana is just weird and brandi? she’s mean too. boo hoo.u00a0 no one is innocent here, and frankly, unless you and lynn hudson have seen all the uncut footage, you guys don’t know the real stories either and are judging based on your own opinions and trying to really spread it as fact.u00a0 perhaps bravo PR has contacted you bloggers telling you who gets the mean girl edit this year and then you really have to pound away at that person.u00a0 nnplus, you make so many mistakes, mispellings, getting countries wrong, names wrong (this post went up this morning and yet it still says ‘lisa maloof’, when obviously we all know her name is adrienne. n

    • Anonymous

      Wow. What a comment! For starters, I am the queen of the typo. I wish I weren’t but that’s the way the cookie crumbles over here. I have had to make peace with it. nnSecond, you are a breath of fresh air. I normally hear that I am too kind to the housewives and that I am not objectively evaluating their behavior because I am too forgiving. To be called “snarky” is a new one for me.nnThird, I know not a soul who works at Bravo and if I did, I bet they’d have trouble admitting that at work because I have been incredibly critical of Andy Cohen and the entire production team. nnFourth, I am not trying to spread anything as fact unless I know them to be “facts.” nnFifth, what you do not seem to understand is that I am a person who watches Bravo shows, likes to write and is interested in blogging. Period. I do not have a NYTimes level staff to correct my every mistake. (But oh boy do I wish I did). nnAnd finally, I do not understand why you are calling me mean. I watched this episode twice. I thought Lisa was unnecessarily nasty to Adrienne. And that is what I said. How this is mean spirited is beyond my comprehension. If you would explain this to me, I would appreciate it. :D

    • Bernice Lapin

      Huh? Peaches gives her opinion and explains her reasons. She does tend to give Kim a pass, but the owns it and explains why. You’re free to disagree. She makes fewer errors than do most bloggers. (At least she knows where to use caps!) And when was she ever snarky? What exactly is your beef with her?

  • guestie

    I must strongly disagree with ohreallyfactor because IMO, you are waaaaay to nice and excuse a lot of awful behavior. u00a0(I do agree about the Dana/bumm issue!) u00a0Proves you just cannot please everybody so don’t even sweat it, doll. u00a0nnLast season I enjoyed Lisa’s personality the most: u00a0her sharp wit and ability to appear fair and level-headed…fabulous home, clothing, Jiggy, etc. u00a0Still, there was this nagging feeling that if she were truly as fabulous and “normal” as she presented herself, she would not be on a reality show, a housewives franchise, no less. u00a0We are seeing more of her authentic personality this season, from the catty remarks to the way she treats her husband and son. u00a0u00a0nnKim and Kyle are just horrendous. u00a0Kim needs rehab, like…yesterday. u00a0I wonder what else Kyle enables/refuses to look at in her life? u00a0The dynamic b/w those sisters is really sick. u00a0

    • Bernice Lapin

      Kim and Kyle are not evil, they’re uneducated, immature, damaged and, it appears, have survived by propping eachother up. They should make a pact to embark on the path to recovery at the same time, so each will have support in dealing with the other’s changes, and they can learn to support eachother in a more healthy way. Meanwhile, let’s neither condemn them nor hold them up as idols, ok? Fame and beauty don’t denote goodness.

      • Anonymous

        I don’t think anyone has called them evil or at least that I remember reading. And I also don’t think anyone has held them up as idols either. I think that what is happening here is that people are now beginning to see who they really are and we’re reacting to their core personalities. nnK&K are nasty. Yes, they prop each other up, but when you really look at it, Kyle has a funny way of propping Kim up. She does it consistently by blaming Kim for everything. And in the end Kim looks bad. And Kyle looks worse. But still, they’re in it together. They have a very hateful way of dealing with their co-stars. And it only works on any level because Kyle has complete control over the cast.nnBut if past experience is any indication of future results, Kyle is going to find herself in Jill Zarin’s arena. While this mean girl approach to socializing may work in middle school, in the real world fans will not put up with Kyle’s antics because we viewers have much more courage to confront her than her colleagues.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for your kindness. I am definitely not trying to be too nice. But I am trying not to be mean because “snark” bores me and I have seen many times over the last few years how these production companies manipulate viewer opinions. And, frankly, I think it is unnecessary and that it boarders on misogyny. Still, when I have a firm opinion I will have zero trouble expressing it. And trust me, I do think K&K are horrendous. Absolutely cruel in a particularly sick, cowardly way.

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