(December 12, 2011) – Just when we were thinking Bravo wouldn’t have enough respect for its viewers to avoid making Kim Zolciak’s delivery a cliff hanger, the network delighted us tonight by revealing the whole enchilada, including the build up to the delivery and the first reality television appearance of KJ, Kim’s son with now-husband Kroy Biermann. Way to go Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen, Bravo president Frances Berwick and Real Housewives of Atlanta producer Carlos King. We applaud your acknowledging that we already know all about the birth and their marriage. There is no reason to stretch this out as though suspense is necessary.
Because we are inspired by Bravo and its team’s respect for sparing us the drama of waiting to see things that are widely known all over the internet, here, without further adieu, are our chicken scratchy notes about tonight’s episode.
Kim Wants to Deliver
Kim and Kroy go to the Ob/Gyn because Kim is ready to deliver, regardless of whether she’s going to have an early baby or not. Kroy is a doll for dealing with her cranky behavior. He must realize that she’s just nervous. And regardless of whether he knows what he’s in for, he’s being a good guy and calmly driving her to the hospital.
Cynthia and Peter talk about Manhattan
In a conversation that seems to take place in Cynthia’s closet, she and Peter her discuss trip to NYC that includes a visit with Russell Simmons. Oddly enough, Peter sounds far more jealous that NeNe is going along for the ride, when in reality far more men would be more concerned that their wives will be meeting with their ex-flames. But Peter is clueless.
The Farce of Chateau Shereé Continues
Although we think it’s all BS, Shereé is talking about her new house with her mother. Thelma thinks she should file a motion against her ex-husband who we hear is in arrears for child support. While this is the first time we’ve had sympathy for Shereé, we recognize this story is a Bravo charade.
Cynthia and NeNe Head to New York
The girls check in the hotel. NeNe thinks it’s small and that it possibly has bugs. (Did you hear the screams of the PR woman who approved this comp?) NeNe is going to meet with John, the owner of Famous Familgia pizzeria. Cynthia’s going to meet with Russell Simmons who she used to date when she was 18 years old and modeling.
Phaedra Goes to Court
Ms. Parks is a genius. She has her lawyer glasses on and she’s making excuses for her client being late for his trial. Dave is facing a window tamp? charge and was also caught with having less than 1 oz. of marijuana. The judge offers an infomercial about our Phaedra. He explains he knows her and, as a result, he’s going to give him a fine, rather than time.
Cynthia Meets with Russell Simmons
Cynthia remembers dating him was lots of fun. His desk is covered with books he’s signing as he meets with her. She explains she wants to give guidance about the fashion industry. Russell says that the lasting careers in modeling are behind the camera. As much as he sounds combative, he has very good ideas about expanding her business beyond modeling.
Kim and Kroy in the Hospital
The Biermanns are in Kim’s hospital room. She’s wearing a heinous gown with stargazer lilies printed on it and she’s denying she’s a cigarette smoker. She’s in lots of pain. “This epidural better work this f*#@%+$ time,” she tells us, knowing it didn’t during her last delivery with Ariane, her youngest child.
The Return of Mama Joyce
Joyce and Kandi are getting ready for a photo shoot for “sexy senior singles who are ready to mingle.” Kandi is going to lend her mother a girdle to add va-va-voom to her photo shoot. Joyce is worried about HIV/Aids being prevalent in those in their 50s and 60s. We love Joyce for mentioning that. She’s fun and naughty, in a good way.
Shereé and Child Support
Bob has served Shereé with a petition for a reduction in child support. He says that he earns $3,000 a month and that paying $2,000 is too great of a percentage of his income. Kairo sits in the background silently. Shereé wants to go for a bike ride, but he won’t go with her. It makes us wonder if she doesn’t get that he heard her talk about the child support issues.
NeNe and John Go Out for an Early Dinner
NeNe clearly has a crush on her business partner whom we are pretty sure she met when she was on Celebrity Apprentice. She looks like a little girl when he’s flirting with her. John gives NeNe a series of gifts: a silver Tiffany pen, a pair of stilettos, and finally a serenade. Without saying the words, in her video diary, NeNe makes it clear she’s head over heels.
Cynthia Meets and her NYC Friende
They’re talking about how Atlanta is more materialist than NYC. We have no idea if this generalization is true. Her friend asks about her life now. He is suggesting that life with Peter is not golden. He wants to know if she regrets leaving NYC and she says she does. He thinks she is dumbing herself down in Atlanta. That’s sad. She deserves happiness.
Kim Tries to hide her Agony from Brielle and Ariana
Brielle can see that Kroy is nervous. Kim tells us the contractions are rough. And we believe her. She looks like she’s in distress. She wants her kids to leave the room and go eat. But Ariana is not hungry. Kim almost silently growls and her kids go running from room 122. Kim is good about being strong in front of her children. We admire that. We only wish Kennedy Armstrong had someone that strong to protect her from adult dramas.
KJ is Born
He’s pink. He’s cute. His name is Kroy Jagger Biermann and he clocked in at 8 lbs even. Kroy says the birth was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Kim looks happy and pretty and we’re sooooo happy Bravo didn’t make us wait until Tuesday to see that cute little baby. Finally that nutty little network did the right thing!
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am a New York City publicist who specializes in promoting luxury products and experiences and occasionally moonlight as a journalist.
Relatively new to the world of blogging, I have watched and enjoyed Bravo’s Housewives shows since the first season of the Real Housewives of Orange County. I created this blog over the 4th of July holiday of 2011 because I enjoy writing and love to figure out how to blend images and words to create something that is both visually compelling and interesting to read.