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Does Kim have the cure for cancer?

Regina | January 10, 2012 | 17 Comments More

image: hawaiifeeling.com

(January 10, 2012) – Yes, Hawaii is beautiful. Yes, it was sweet to see Adrienne Maloof and Dr. Paul take a seaside hike, holding hands. Yes, it is wonderful to learn that Lisa Vanderpump has finally caved in and now admits she likes Brandi. How could she not? Brandi is a star and a very welcomed and much needed addition to the cast of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

As heartwarming as all of that is, the only thing I could think about this morning when I was sipping coffee and mulling over last night’s episode, is Kim’s bizarre role on this show. Yes, she’s clearly unstable and she’s clearly struggling with alcohol and drug issues, but truthfully, she appeared to be the only sane person on last night’s episode.

Exactly why is Kyle so obsessed with Kim? Why does Kyle and the rest of the cast think Kim is so crucial to every scene that all of them go bananas when she is not with them? Does she have the cure for cancer and the rest of the cast has been recently diagnosed? Why can’t they enjoy a vacation in paradise without her being part of their every waking moment? None of this makes any sense to me.

Now keep in mind. I have three sisters. I think all of them are very fun and for the most part I enjoy their company. Of course, not always. But I definitely get they are among the smartest, wittiest, kindest people I have ever known. But geez louise, if one of them missed a plane or failed to show up on a boat before it took off, I could accept it. I would NEVER be angry at any one of them about anything Kim has done during this Hawaiian excursion. I find it all bizarre.

Most bizarre is how Kyle has seemingly hypnotized the rest of the cast into believing that Kim’s absence is shameful, unforgivable and worth discussing at all. Big deal! She missed the plane. This happens every day, in every airport in the world. Big deal! She missed the boat. I’ve been sailing many times and again, this happens all the time. She did not force these people to wait for her. They chose to.

Sure it would have been great if she contacted them to let them know she was running late. I definitely would have. That’s only polite. And an apology is definitely in order. But why on earth did Kyle make such a big about it? Before she and Lisa invaded Kim’s privacy by slipping over the wall of their adjoining balconies, she told us she was pissed that Kim was 20 minutes late. This woman has got to be kidding me! Has Kyle been bitten by a snake and Kim has the antidote?

Ken told Lisa he is sorry. Obviously he overslept. But Lisa replies “Sorry doesn’t cut it.” Well what does cut it? This couple, this nutty couple that obviously has lots of problems made a mistake. It’s a miracle they made it to Hawaii to begin with, considering Kim’s obvious drug and alcohol problems and Ken’s apparent paranoid mental illness. I cannot imagine why anyone is holding them to any standard, let alone a strict timetable.

If I were Maurcio, I’d be very concerned about my wife’s relationship with her sister. As odd as this is to say, I feel like Kyle is actually married to Kim and that Mauricio is just some guy who looks good and can impregnate her. Kyle seems way to keyed into what her sister does and how she behaves.

Camille told us that “Kim has to realize the world doesn’t wait for her” and she’s right. For that reason they should have set sail without her. She missed out on a special day. That is the consequence of being late for a plane and a boat. And life goes on. That’s fine.

I would have thought that Kim would be the person who would be upset that they didn’t wait for her. But the funny thing is that Kim was fine to take the time to have a long, relaxing lunch. Truth be told I would have had just as much fun as Kim and Ken did, lollygagging away the afternoon and doing nothing in particular. Sure it’s wonderful to snorkel and scuba dive. I love the ocean and checking out the underwater world. But I also like chatting, nibbling on snacks and just enjoying a quiet afternoon with someone I love. It sounds like heaven.

What does not sound like heaven is going on vacation with people who are obsessed with my being in a certain place at a certain time. As long as I am allowed and encouraged to do whatever I want while on vacation, chances are I’ll do and be anywhere you want me to be. But the second something becomes mandatory all of the fun of getting away evaporates for me.

The one good part about last night’s episode was finally understanding what Kim sees in Ken. Judging from a preview video that is now online at Bravo.com, I think next week we are going to learn that Ken is more than slightly controlling. I don’t like that at all.

But last night I learned that Kim wants and needs someone to back her up when Kyle wants her to do something she does not want to do. I think Ken provides that. Chances are his “I’ve got your back” attitude is more bluster than reality, but I bet Kim doesn’t care. She just needs someone to validate that she is okay and that she’s allowed to live her life her way, regardless of whether Kyle likes it. As much as my jury is still out on whether Ken is a decent person, I am glad that she found him, if for no other reason because he is obviously giving her something she believes she needs.

What I find truly perplexing is how everyone on the Beverly Hills cast acted like Kim’s absence was earth shattering. It almost makes me think that Kyle has succeeded in brain washing all of the women into believing that Kim is the single most important ingredient in their fun and that her absence ruined Mauricio’s birthday. I beg to differ.

Having said all of that, I wonder if lots more happened than we were shown. I think there is a distinct possibility that Kim’s 36 hour delay in arriving in Lanai included a number of incidents that we did not see on camera. All I can say is that I hope so. Otherwise nothing about this show makes enough sense to me to continue watching it.

photo: twowineybitches.com

On a side note, Kyle said she hasn’t driven in a car with Kim in 12 years. Maybe I am imagining it, but weren’t they in they in a car Kyle was driving earlier this season? I may have this wrong, but I remember Kim talking about how she mistook some sort of a cleaner or disinfectant for breath spray. And if I am not mistaken Kyle was driving and Kim was in the passenger seat. Not that it matters to anyone else, but as someone who is clinging to believe anything that is true, I am surprised I remember one thing and Kyle is saying it did not happen.

Similarly I was surprised last night when Kim called Mauricio “Maurice.” What was that all about? Did Mauricio have a exotic name change at some point? Or is this just an example of Kim being kookoo?

All I can say for sure is that I am THRILLED that Brandi joined the cast. Sure she’s beautiful and fun, but in addition, that girl is smart, both objectively book smart and also emotionally intelligent, too. All I can say at this point is “Thank God for Brandi.” That girl is a welcomed relief from a truly nutty cast.

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Category: Adrienne Maloof, Brandi Granville, Camille Grammer, Kim Richards, Kyle Richards, Lisa Vanderpump, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

About the Author (Author Profile)

I am a New York City publicist who specializes in promoting luxury products and experiences and occasionally moonlight as a journalist.

Relatively new to the world of blogging, I have watched and enjoyed Bravo’s Housewives shows since the first season of the Real Housewives of Orange County. I created this blog over the 4th of July holiday of 2011 because I enjoy writing and love to figure out how to blend images and words to create something that is both visually compelling and interesting to read.

  • sk777

    as annoying as i find kyle… i still understand her “obsession” with kim, it IS her sister, she doesnt want her to look bad which would really make kyle look bad, i think she just wants Kim to act normal and stop being embarassing..for her sake and kim’s kid probably. and i think Kyle recognizes the signs of kim using or being on something and that just sets her off, she might not deal with it in the best way but an addict as a sibling is difficult and kyle doesnt know how to deal with it other than having a meltdown. she thinks is she can try to watch over and control kims words and actions she can stop kim from self destructing. 

    • Anonymous

      Hi SK,

      Believe me I get it that my take on all of this is not in the majority. I am sure she wants Kim to act normal-ish. I get that. I don’t get that by Kim looking bad, Kyle looks bad. I have three sisters and do not think that when any of them does something bad it reflects on me But trust me, I am not arguing with you at all. In fact I am very interested in what you have to say and appreciate your commenting her. I hope you always feel free to return and say whatever you want. I like a lively discussion.

      I definitely agree with you that Kim just sets Kim off. My sisters can set me off, too. Below Piano Girl said something that I find interesting that I agree with after reading her comment, but wouldn’t have gotten had she not said it. That was the idea that Kim was almost a freeloader, enjoying her relaxing shrimp lunch when in fact she had a job to do by showing up on the boat on time to film with the rest of the cast. That makes sense to me. When I saw this episode and wrote this post I really looked at this Hawaiian excursion as a vacation. When I go away I want to do whatever I feel like doing. I would never do well on a leisure trip that is planned within an inch of its life. But I am not taking freebee trips.

      I have taken press trips that are 100% paid for by someone else and you better believe I show up and do my job, regardless of what it takes, even if I end up doing things I don’t want to do.

      I wish nothing more than that Kim gets healthy and Kyle figures out a way to deal with her frustrations and difficult family relationships. I know from reading House of Hilton that those girls had a truly dangerous mother. I feel for them because I know they were mistreated as children.

      Thank you for commenting. :D

  • PianoGirl

    I’m going to voice an unpopular opinion in Kyle’s favor, as well. Kim is an addict. Apart from what I WITNESS WITH MY OWN EYES, I think this is no longer a matter of debate (in spite of Cohen’s attempt to floss over it when anyone else mentions it… Did you see his response at Anderson Cooper’s comment about “Percocet all over the floor”? Too funny…)

    Okay, so here’s my point. I think Kim, like all addicts, IS quite content living in a drug-induced stupor, sleeping all day, waking up to take more drugs, eating some shrimp on a balcony in Hawaii paid for by the show you are contracted to film for, and then feigning, “What? Can’t I just ENJOY myself without people giving me a hassle?!” As a person with an addict sister, I can tell you that addicts insist that they just want to be left alone to do their thing. That is, until they get in trouble, or overdose, or get evicted, or any myriad of other things that prevent them from continuing to live a life full of I-am-as-high-as-a-kite fun and how-come-everybody-else-is-such-a-downer-all-the-time? And then, that’s when they need you to bail them out. But they don’t really want to be helped when that help means real change; they just want to continue doing what makes them feel good in spite of the fact that they have to use everybody else around them and lie, and cheat, and steal, to continue doing that thing that they insist isn’t hurting anybody else. Anybody who loves somebody who is an addict can tell you it is a special kind of Hell.

    As a viewer, I know I get peeved when what I’m fed as the truth is a bunch of bull-puckey, so I can only imagine how Kyle must get her panties in a knot about having to play along with the altered reality that Kim is trying to push on everyone. I don’t believe that Kim “just decided to move in with Ken at his house” like it was portrayed on the show. I think she very likely HAD to because of financial reasons, and I believe there are many, many things that go on behind the scenes that we viewers aren’t privy to that are very, very ugly for Kim. If it isn’t true, Kim would be the only addict in the course of Hollywood history to put all her ducks in a row (like updating her expired license, and paying her bills, and caring for her children) before waking up and ingesting her prescription cocktail of vodka and Vicodin. It seems to me that Kyle is desperately trying to keep her sister functioning in the company of normal people (note: anyone other than Ken) to keep her sober as much as possible. Kyle’s making a big scene about keeping Kim on film, in my opinion, is a desperate attempt to get her to focus on something OTHER THAN DRUGS (and her Ken). If I was Kim’s sister, I can’t say that I wouldn’t do the same thing. Again, in Kyle’s defense, she is not going to come right out and say, “I’m fighting for my sister’s life here because she holes herself up in her house day after day in a drug-induced stupor and I feel that if I can just GET HER TO COME OUT OF HER HOUSE once a week, then maybe I have a chance at helping her.”

    Or, I could do what others are coaching Kyle to do… Just let Kim go… let her make all the horrendous mistakes that she will make because you can’t change her, cross your fingers and hope that she doesn’t overdose and die, or hurt herself or somebody else, or get arrested. Sure, Kyle could pretend that Kim’s altered reality is the just best she could hope for and just play along with it. She could hope that sooner or later Kim will figure out how to handle things and either fall flat on her face or a magical light beam will shine down from the heavens and change her. Unfortunately, I don’t believe it and I don’t think that Kyle does, either.  For this reason, I am giving Kyle a pass on this one…

    • Anonymous

      HI Piano Girl!

      Thanks for your comment. While I definitely have a different reaction to this situation, I have to say two things: 1) I am grateful that you wrote to express your take on this nutty Richards Sisters relationship; and 2) I think I am in the minority in my reaction. I know one other person who agrees with me. Everyone else online has a 180-degree different take on that Hawaii trip from me.

      I really get that Kyle is worried about Kim. I’d be worried, too. I think it is a well-established fact that she has drug and alcohol issues. Regardless of what drugs she takes – prescription drugs given to her by a doctor or street drugs given to her by an amateur pharmacist – we know she’s on drugs. She told us so. And we could see she was off kilter BIG TIME at game night.

      My quibble, and trust me I know I could be wrong, is that there is no point that I can think of to highlight how messed up Kim is by harping on how she didn’t really participate in celebrating Mauricio’s birthday. Kim is obviously very sick and she seems to me to be hanging on by a thread. I really don’t understand how trying to make her feel bad can ever make this situation better. In my mind, she needs help. Maybe she won’t accept the help, but she needs it.

      I think she’s miserable and she knows her life is falling apart. I do not believe she needs any help in feeling worse. I think that by highlighting how late Kim is and how she missed two plane rides and one boat trip, Kyle is just putting a spotlight on how ill someone is.

      In many ways that spotlight reminded me of how Dr. Phil deals with addicts and alcoholic. To my eyes and ears he shames them. He yells at them. I think that is counterproductive. I far prefer Dr. Drew’s efforts to empathize with people who are struggling with substance abuse problems. But what do I know?

      Reading Lisa Vanderpump’s blog today (http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/season-2/blogs/lisa-vanderpump/the-joker) makes me think that quite a bit more happened that we did not see. I say that because Lisa is not nearly as emotionally tied to Kim and yet she is also saying Kim’s behavior was outrageous and could not be ignored.

      It just strikes me as odd that Kim’s behavior is so awful that she has to be called out on it constantly and yet, her presence is essential. That’s all.

      Thanks for writing. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say.

  • MaggieG

    Since I haven’t been watching RHOBH I’m not sure how valid my point will be but I did watch the sisters’ dynamics last season & I’m wondering if (in light of the tragic turn of events with Russell) Kyle & Mauricio don’t want to put it out there that if Kim self-destructs it isn’t because they didn’t try everything to help.  Realize it’s a sad indictment (after all, who thinks about image & damage control when it’s about family) but this is Hollywood, after all.

    • Anonymous

      I honestly don’t think Kyle is sophisticated enough to leave a trail that she and her husband were concerned and tried to help. Truthfully I don’t think she and Mauricio are sophisticated on any level. But please don’t think I am saying Kyle is dumb. She’s not. Not at all. I think she’s actually very bright and that is why her lack of education did not impede her path to where she wants to be today.

      Truth be told I think she should have been an attorney. I say that because I think she would do very well in a court room, whether she was defending the accused or prosecuting the suspect. I’ve been listening to this woman speak on camera for years (Paris Hilton True Hollywood Story type things) and I know she can make a case for any behavior). And I cannot help but notice that she managed to almost brainwash the entire cast into believing that Kim’s absence was an earth shattering event that deserve all of their attention incessantly, regardless of whether it ruined all of their time and Mauricio’s birthday. Of course I could be wrong, but I think part of what Kyle does is to make herself feel and look more put together, but putting the spotlight on her sister’s issues.

      I do not think that is intentional. I think she learned that very early in life when her mother, Big Kathy, pitted those two girls against each other.

  • Nancy

    I have been reading your blog for some time, though I have never commented.  I wanted you to know that I thoroughly enjoy your writing and the “philosophical” views you take on the episodes rather than just picking favorites and bashing the others as most other bloggers seem to do. 

    Having some experience in the area of addiction, what you are describing here and what we are seeing on the RHOBH with regard to Kyle are classic symptoms of enabling.  Kyle is a classic co-dependent and needs as much help as Kim in terms of therapy and gaining knowledge about her reactions to Kim from addiction counselors, Al-Anon, etc.  Kyle needs to detach from Kim and her addiction, but instead she hangs on, creating drama and believing that SHE NEEDS to “set Kim straight” in her behavior.  While this is understandable on some level, the situation has obviously gotten very serious and they are actually both very sick.  Given Kyle’s personality, I believe the other castmates simply feed off of Kyle’s lead/drama and join in.  In truth, Kyle needs to stay on her own side of the street, take care of herself and treat Kim as she would any other adult human being.  Surely she would not behave this way if it were Lisa or Camille who was always late or did not show up.  Kyle takes her sister’s situation personally and tries to “fix” her and quite frankly that is not her job and will only continue to hurt Kim.  Your analogy of Kim having the cure for cancer was actually genius and that is how they were all behaving.  What Kyle doesn’t yet realize is she is only making Kim’s situation worse (and I am pretty sure she does not intend to do this), but it is putting a strain on Kyle, her marriage and her relationships.  It’s a lose/lose situation for them both and not a small part of what should be dealt with in rehab and/or counseling.  I am also still not sure how I feel about Ken, but I suspect he is an addict and that perhaps Kim met him in rehab or at an AA meeting, which is never a good thing.

    This is just my opinion based on my experience.  Thank you for writing such a great blog and providing a forum where one can feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and experiences.

    • Anonymous

      Hi Nancy,

      Thanksfor your kind comment! I read it last night on my phone during an incredibly busy day and couldn’t respond until now.

      Although I know almost nothing about drug and alcohol issues and treatment, I know in my bones that what Kyle is doing is not helping. And I know that what Kyle says and does, inadvertent or not, makes Kim look unnecessarily bad. Obviously everybody and every family has their challenges and strange dynamics, so I am very sympathetic about Kyle and Kim and their unhealthy dependency on each other.

      But one thing that REALLY bothers me is that pretty much every negative thing I know about Kim I learned from Kyle highlighting those things on international television. I have three sisters of my own and we do have our squabbles but neither I nor any of them would ever do that to each other. Like never.

      I know I am rambling here. Sorry, my thoughts are scattered. But I am very interested in your mentioning codependency. I have never understood that concept well enough. Is part of codependency an effort, conscious or otherwise, to keep the sick person in a subordinate position? I ask because everything Kyle says and does in relation to Kim seems like it could only result in Kim feeling more off kilter and less likely to get better on any level.

      Another thing, I think Ken is probably from an AA or NA meeting or from some kind of treatment center or maybe he was even Kim’s drug dealer. Obviously I have no real idea. But something tells me that on some level they relate to each other in using or not using drugs and alcohol. But I think his real purpose may be as a body guard to protect Kim from her sister’s incessant criticism. In the last episode he told us he would be there to protect her. And in Kyle’s most recent blog she wrote: “When Kim
      told me she was bringing her boyfriend Ken to Hawaii I understood that
      she wanted to have someone to be with. I wasn’t thrilled, obviously,
      because I had never been a fan of his.”

      I don’t have the words or counseling training to explain why this statement strikes me as odd, but all I can say is that if one of my sisters came on vacation with me and brought a husband or boyfriend I would NEVER describe it as her wanting “to have someone to be with.” I would assume she likes the guy and wants him to share in the fun, especially because it was a massive trip with so many people joining the group. (Obviously there were many people for Kim to “be with.”)

      What I hear in what Kyle wrote is that she sees Ken as a barrier to her unfettered access to Kim and she doesn’t want anyone to provide that kind of obstacle. Earlier in the season Kyle suggested that Kim may be with Ken just because he is nice to her. Just because? Having someone be nice to you is huge! People regularly date and marry people who are nasty to them. I love it when people in my family find nice people to spend time with.

      Unfortunately judging from next week’s previews, Ken isn’t as nice to Kim as Kyle thought. Hopefully someday we’ll all better understand who Ken is and why Kyle is hell bent on destroying this relationship.

      Thanks again for your kind words. I have a strong suspicion you are a drug and alcoholism counselor and regardless of whether you are, I am flattered more than you will ever understand, that you took the time to read my post and offer your thoughts. I hope you return regularly and often and that you always feel comfortable to say whatever you want.  xxoo

      • Nc159

        Regina,

        Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my comment…I love this type of discussion!  :-) 

        A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.  It is not necessarily drug and/or alcohol related though it frequently is.  I was a codependent in a marriage for many years with a frequently unfaithful husband…as an example, this man (my ex) had serious issues with monogomy and commitment and clearly had some serious problems, however, I could not make the decision to leave with three young children and zero self-confidence, so I became obsessed with his behavior, where he was going, who he was going with, checking his phone and checking up on him every moment of the day and obsessively trying to control the situation.  In the end, I appeared to be the crazy one as he looked calmly on asking what in the world was wrong with me when I would get in such a crazed state in my attempt to control him and his behavior.  I had become just as sick as he.  

        I believe that Kyle’s reactions to Kim began in the same way and elevated to where it is today as a result of Kyle trying to control Kim’s behavior and understandably so (in the beginning).  That is one of the reasons Kyle gets so frustrated when Kim responds like nothing has happened when Kyle has been so crazed in trying to control her sister’s whereabouts and behavior and make excuses for her.  The person with the problem can sit back and question why the other is acting so crazy/harsh/frazzled…me with being so obsessed with my husband’s whereabouts and Kyle being so obsessed with Kim’s eratic behavior…and it appears they are okay and we are the ones with the problem.  And, in fact, we are…we are codependent and in need of help and thank God, I received that help and can look back on that time in my life and wonder how I ever did what I did.  I am thankful that is my past but not sorry that it happened because I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am today without those experiences and the knowledge I’ve gained.  There were also drug and alcohol issues in my case as well.

        Honestly, I believe Kyle’s comment concerning Ken, and the fact that Kim wanted someone to be with was probably no more than what it was.  I suspect that Kim has met this man through drugs (in some fashion), and Kyle knows this.  She would be justifiably correct in her concern for Kim because one should NEVER get involved in a relationship so new into recovery and with another addict/alcoholic…it simply is not a good choice and early in recovery one does not always make good choices for themselves.  I think Kyle knows the connection with Ken, but is not willing to state that on television (yet), so she simply says she’s not a fan of his.  I don’t really think it’s personal toward Ken but more about her concern for Kim and her getting the help she needs.  This man, if he is still using or drinking or whatever, will only serve to keep Kim sick unfortunately.  There is plenty of time for relationships once Kim gets herself together, deals with her demons and does the work on herself.  I suspect that if and when that happens, Kyle would approve of Kim having someone in her life because, let’s face it, it would be a burden off of Kyle’s shoulders (at least in her mind).  In the meantime, Kyle needs some serious counseling herself and information on how she can be most effective in dealing with Kim because what she is doing now is not helping Kim, Kyle or anyone involved.

        I am not a drug or alcoholism counselor, though I do aspire to be.  :-)  These are just my humble opinions based on what I’ve seen and what I’ve been through myself.  I definitely plan to continue reading your blog and commenting.  Thanks for listening!  :-)        

      • Nc159

        Regina,

        Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to my comment…I love this type of discussion!  :-) 

        A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.  It is not necessarily drug and/or alcohol related though it frequently is.  I was a codependent in a marriage for many years with a frequently unfaithful husband…as an example, this man (my ex) had serious issues with monogomy and commitment and clearly had some serious problems, however, I could not make the decision to leave with three young children and zero self-confidence, so I became obsessed with his behavior, where he was going, who he was going with, checking his phone and checking up on him every moment of the day and obsessively trying to control the situation.  In the end, I appeared to be the crazy one as he looked calmly on asking what in the world was wrong with me when I would get in such a crazed state in my attempt to control him and his behavior.  I had become just as sick as he.  

        I believe that Kyle’s reactions to Kim began in the same way and elevated to where it is today as a result of Kyle trying to control Kim’s behavior and understandably so (in the beginning).  That is one of the reasons Kyle gets so frustrated when Kim responds like nothing has happened when Kyle has been so crazed in trying to control her sister’s whereabouts and behavior and make excuses for her.  The person with the problem can sit back and question why the other is acting so crazy/harsh/frazzled…me with being so obsessed with my husband’s whereabouts and Kyle being so obsessed with Kim’s eratic behavior…and it appears they are okay and we are the ones with the problem.  And, in fact, we are…we are codependent and in need of help and thank God, I received that help and can look back on that time in my life and wonder how I ever did what I did.  I am thankful that is my past but not sorry that it happened because I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am today without those experiences and the knowledge I’ve gained.  There were also drug and alcohol issues in my case as well.

        Honestly, I believe Kyle’s comment concerning Ken, and the fact that Kim wanted someone to be with was probably no more than what it was.  I suspect that Kim has met this man through drugs (in some fashion), and Kyle knows this.  She would be justifiably correct in her concern for Kim because one should NEVER get involved in a relationship so new into recovery and with another addict/alcoholic…it simply is not a good choice and early in recovery one does not always make good choices for themselves.  I think Kyle knows the connection with Ken, but is not willing to state that on television (yet), so she simply says she’s not a fan of his.  I don’t really think it’s personal toward Ken but more about her concern for Kim and her getting the help she needs.  This man, if he is still using or drinking or whatever, will only serve to keep Kim sick unfortunately.  There is plenty of time for relationships once Kim gets herself together, deals with her demons and does the work on herself.  I suspect that if and when that happens, Kyle would approve of Kim having someone in her life because, let’s face it, it would be a burden off of Kyle’s shoulders (at least in her mind).  In the meantime, Kyle needs some serious counseling herself and information on how she can be most effective in dealing with Kim because what she is doing now is not helping Kim, Kyle or anyone involved.

        I am not a drug or alcoholism counselor, though I do aspire to be.  :-)  These are just my humble opinions based on what I’ve seen and what I’ve been through myself.  I definitely plan to continue reading your blog and commenting.  Thanks for listening!  :-)        

      • Nc159

        Regina,
         
        I am so sorry for posting this twice…it didn’t seem to work the first time, so I did it again.  My apologies and please delete.  :-)
         
        Another thing that came to mind is that when someone is in an addiction, they do not mature, grow, learn…that process is distorted through the addiction.  Depending on when Kim started to use/drink, could explain some of her apparent immaturity and inability to make good/responsible choices for herself.  Some attribute this to the whole child actor issue, and I’m sure that served to exacerbate the situation, or maybe even where it began. 
         
        Take care!  :-)

        • Housewives Junkie

          Nancy, I think you hit the nail on the head. I also see Kyle as co dependent. I also believe that Kim’s emotional development was stunted by her addiction. Their behaviors are textbook. Brandi seems to realize this. She states in her blog that she has helped her friend through addiction. I think through her past experience, she knows exactly how to handle the Richards sisters. She understands that Kim is not in her right mind and arguing with her is pointless. With Kyle, she has an innate sense of how to give the right mix of advice and sympathy to get through to Kyle. Kyle stated in season one that her mother asked for her to look after Kim right before she passed away. That was the worse thing Big Kathy could have said for both her daughters mental health. Those two clearly need counseling and AA and Alanon.

          • Anonymous

            Big Kathy was something else. HJ, have you read House of Hilton? The stories of those girls upbringings are truly wild. I have done a bit of searching to find out if any of what the author said was retracted or disputed in any way. I have found nothing.

            When Kim’s and Kyle’s father met her, he was married and the author suggests that Big Kathy slammed his then wife’s ankle in a car door and then brought the police to her door to have her arrested for assault. The story gets even more tawdry than that.

            The upshot of what I learned while reading that book is that those girls never had a chance. Their mother was amoral and she pitted those girls against each other based upon whose earning potential was higher. Kim had the longevity. She hauled in the cash that supported the family for at least a decade, but when she was no longer able to lure the Brink’s truck up to her family’s driveway, Kyle became the focus.

            For these reasons, I really feel for those girls even though I see they are truly horrendous now. I just don’t think they had a chance. Very sad.

        • Anonymous

          I am very happy to delete it but I cannot find the duplication (this software is a little challenging to say the least.) If I never find it, I hope you are okay with my leaving it. Everyone here understands stuff happens. And your comments are so spectacular, they are worthy of a repeat. Still if I do find it, I will delete. :D

          I’ve heard that addictive types have their maturity stunted at the point where they began to drink or use. That makes alot of sense with Kim and many people I know who have had their issues with drugs and alcohol.

          But does the same thing apply to those who are codependent? I ask because I see Kyle’s stunted emotionally growth much more than I see Kim’s.

          Do you remember that scene when she was painting one of her daughter’s toes and she said something like, “Mommy has the same challenges as you and your friends do?”

          That struck me as so odd. Sure I have my issues with sisters and friends but they are definitely now like those I had when I was in sixth grade.

          And trust me, I am FAR FAR FAR from perfect and I definitely have my issues, but I have definitely moved past the BS I went through when I was 11 years old. Something about the way Kyle said that made me think she has never moved on from that.

        • Anonymous

          I am very happy to delete it but I cannot find the duplication (this software is a little challenging to say the least.) If I never find it, I hope you are okay with my leaving it. Everyone here understands stuff happens. And your comments are so spectacular, they are worthy of a repeat. Still if I do find it, I will delete. :D

          I’ve heard that addictive types have their maturity stunted at the point where they began to drink or use. That makes alot of sense with Kim and many people I know who have had their issues with drugs and alcohol.

          But does the same thing apply to those who are codependent? I ask because I see Kyle’s stunted emotionally growth much more than I see Kim’s.

          Do you remember that scene when she was painting one of her daughter’s toes and she said something like, “Mommy has the same challenges as you and your friends do?”

          That struck me as so odd. Sure I have my issues with sisters and friends but they are definitely now like those I had when I was in sixth grade.

          And trust me, I am FAR FAR FAR from perfect and I definitely have my issues, but I have definitely moved past the BS I went through when I was 11 years old. Something about the way Kyle said that made me think she has never moved on from that.

  • QueenBofOB

    I personally think that Kim has had problems for quite some time. Apparently she owned a 6,000 sq ft home in AZ or CA and no longer has it, or any other house of her own. No it wasn’t the same one that Kyle “stole” from her. I think she needed that money after wasting all of what she had on drugs and sold her share of the house that Big Kathy left the three of them. Actually that was the best thing to do anyway, who would EVER want to own any type of investment in partnership with someone as careless and unreliable as Kim?  I also think that Kyle feels responsible for Kim’s behavior in a way because she got her the job in the first place, hoping that Kim would be able to stand on her own two feet. I know my own sister helped me a *tiny bit* to get my previous job (which I held for over 30 yrs) and I never would have acted as flippant as Kim has.
    In my opinion Ken2 was potentially more abusive than Russell Armstrong. When Kyle listened to Kim’s crazy voice mail about not checking her messages, etc. That was a HUGE red flag to me. Then in Hawaii he confronted Adrienne and Dr.Paul so rudely when he assumed they were speaking negatively about him–the look on Kim’s face was pure terrror. I recently  watched a little of those episodes again, knowing that the two missed the plane because they were up all night fighting and when Camille mentioned that Ken2′s arm and leg were shaking while they were being questioned by Mauricio, hmmm that makes me wonder WHY was he so nervous? I think Kim was extremely  lonely and became acquainted with him, then involved before she knew him well enough to know what kind of a person he actually is. (Speaking from experience, as I did something very similar that was an ENORMOUS mistake that changed my life forever). Kim is just very, very lucky that she has the resources to get away from and out of a destructive situation like that. The majority of women aren’t so fortunate.
    In a way, that’s why I like to watch these shows, the same way I watched soap operas as a teenager. I learn a lot from not only my own mistakes, but I also realize that everyone does stupid things at one time or another and all you can really do is accept that and try to make better decisions in the future.
    I agree that the Lisa/Brandi friendship is really sweet and fun to watch. How right you are about Ken1 and his devotion to Lisa. She’s very savvy to play it up and feign jealousy to boost his ego. No wonder they are so successful in life. Now that’s the kind of stuff I tune in for.

    • Regina

      Thanks for your reply. I would have responded sooner, but I caught the mother of all colds. Still I am feeling better which is great!

      I definitely get and definitely agree that Kyle feels responsible for Kim. I really understand why. But I don’t think it actually makes logical sense. Of course she loves her sister and of course she wants her to be happy and living her life constructively. But what I don’t get (even though I have three sisters) is why she behaves like her sister’s behavior is her responsibility or that it reflects on her negatively.

      I am not sure I can explain myself well here, because I am still pretty sick, but I get that you do not want your sister to embarrass herself. But what I can easily see when my sister does something less than perfectly is that it does not define me.

      I think Kyle is overly keyed into her sister’s behavior, which I agree is not ideal most of the time. I am very new to analyzing people and using psychological terms to describe those behaviors. But from what I understand Kyle is classically co-dependent and I truly hope she gets the help she needs to love her sister with enough of a healthy distance to be there for Kim without getting overly angry at Kim for not being perfect.

      I am glad you saw what I saw when Lisa feigned jealousy over Brandi’s flirtatious behavior with Ken. I think Brandi is a natural flirt and that Ken just likes girls. Lisa knows it would never go further than Brandi calling Ken “my boyfriend.” And it made Ken so happy to see that Lisa was concerned. That concern gave Ken every signal Ken needed to know that Lisa was still in their marriage to win it all. That Lisa is a very smart lady.

      It’s funny. I used to watch ABC soap operas when I was a teenager, too. I lost interest and never saw them again until last week when, while getting a manicure, I saw Luke of Luke and Laura on the TV and I simply could not believe that actor was still playing that role. More disturbing was that he didn’t look that much older while, when I took a look in the mirror behind the manicurist’s table, I could see “adorable” (not really) crow’s feet below my eyes. Somehow he got 5 years older, while I accelerated through 30 years. Still as much as I am not in love with my changing face, I’ll take it over Botox. I’m going down with every “adorable” wrinkle pops up.

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