(May 9, 20120) – Some people who read this blog know that I had a complete meltdown, hissy fit sometime last Autumn. For those who don’t, this is the story in a nutshell. My sister, who sort of loathes me, marched in here under a pseudonym and poked fun at me and it bugged me to such a degree that I unleashed my utter disgust on her privately by email, semi-outed her publicly (no names) here and decided I could no longer write this blog.
I returned something like two weeks later because I missed this secret place to share my quirky thoughts on ridiculous shows that, at the time, truly fascinated me. In the process of my return I shared somewhat embarrassing details of my life that I suspect did not shock anyone because I really don’t have juicy secrets. But let’s face it: I’m an odd duck and broadcasting that fact is not something that makes me feel great. I far prefer to accept it and tuck in my kooky personality as well as I can muster.
Since then I sheepishly slinked myself right into the office of a truly genius PhD psychologist and have been slowly revealing things about myself that make me feel uncomfortable. It’s been a torturous, fantastic, eye-opening, bizarre, self-indulgent, comforting experience. This guy, the PhD genius, is truly gifted. He’s smart as can be, extremely understanding and truly insightful. During my very first visit, I warned him that he would have to speak constantly because I was not interested in just babbling. I told him I needed and wanted his feedback, even if he had to interrupt me, a yakker if there ever was one.
I’ve been seeing him once a week for just short of six months. And as much as I truly HATE going to his office, it’s been one of the best experiences of my life. This guy calls me on my bullshit and supports my decisions when he thinks they are right. As a result, I see myself and the people in my life soooooo differently now. And best of all, I react to certain situations very, very differently because many of them seem so different today from the way they appeared to me last Autumn.
I mention this all because I have a very strong feeling that I should stop focusing this blog almost exclusively on Bravo’s Housewives and begin to reveal certain parts of my life because what goes on in my world is FAR more bizarre than most of what I see in Andy Cohen’s clubhouse. But the thing is, the idea of revealing the day-to-day insanity of my life scares me to the core. I simply do not want anyone to know who I am. And I mean that on two levels.
One, I don’t want the people who know me in real life to know who I am. And two, I don’t want anyone who reads this blog to be able to figure out who I am. Now keep in mind this is truly hilarious because I am not famous. I am almost entirely unknown in my own family and in my own industry. I’m just a shy little nut who likes to hide in a world of peacocks who fluff up their feathers and provide camouflage for someone like me who adores the chance to stay behind the scenes while others bask in the limelight.
I am not sure, but I think the reason I mention this is that a few months ago, during a truly stressful afternoon, I invited a Housewives fan and Twitter acquaintance into my world. I had intended to meet him someplace very anonymous near my world but not exactly into the epicenter of it. But there was a time crunch and I dropped my guard. I actually welcomed him, a complete stranger, into my inner sanctum.
It’s not that I regret it. I am actually glad and somewhat proud that I welcomed him, someone decades younger than me, into a very interesting oasis in Manhattan. He recently moved here and I value hospitality above almost anything else. But, and you must have known a “but” was coming, he either misunderstood my welcome or his hangers on misunderstood what I was offering. In a nutshell, I felt he or his friends took advantage of what my bizarre life offers. And it really scared me that he told complete strangers that I write this blog.
Now keep in mind, he is a truly fascinating person who I think will one day be a huge success. And I know he meant no malice. But he told strangers I write this blog. In my ridiculous world, Bravo Housewives are not a plus. They border on embarrassing. As a result, my being associated with this blog and those silly women is not a plus. Not even slightly. In fact all of this could EASILY threaten my job.
Of course I am being too sensitive, and as I mentioned, I love to hide in the shadows. This is a given. No doubt. But it is one of the primary reasons that I am scared, literally scared to reveal – even in a veiled manner – some of the truly hilarious, truly challenging parts of my life. As a result the truth is that I won’t even Tweet or Facebook under my own name.
Dropping my guard and speaking about my life scares me on a level I cannot explain. But one thing I can say for sure is that if I am clever enough to capture even half of what goes on in my life in NYC, and truthfully I don’t think I am, you will never want to hear another peep out of me about Vicki Gunvalson, Teresa Giudice, Ramona Singer, Kyle Richards or even Marisol’s truly fascinating mother in Miami.
I haven’t the slightest idea why I feel the need to say any of this tonight. I am guessing it is because, after watching Vicki reluctantly accept that her daughter Brianna is married, I have lots to say about that, but I know what happened to me today at work is far more interesting and far more nuanced than anything any of us has seen on Bravo in years.
Photos: Lady with the magnifying glass is courtesy of lilyincanada.wordpress.com; the fan dancer is courtesy of sailorettes.com
Category: My Real Life
About the Author (Author Profile)
I am a New York City publicist who specializes in promoting luxury products and experiences and occasionally moonlight as a journalist.
Relatively new to the world of blogging, I have watched and enjoyed Bravo’s Housewives shows since the first season of the Real Housewives of Orange County. I created this blog over the 4th of July holiday of 2011 because I enjoy writing and love to figure out how to blend images and words to create something that is both visually compelling and interesting to read.